


A Whole New World

by dorkyduckling



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, disney world au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 11:44:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4220436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkyduckling/pseuds/dorkyduckling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward is an asshole and there's a reason Belle ends up with Beast and not Gaston.</p><p>Skye and Jemma are totally a couple even though Skye isn't Beast, but Bobbi says Mulan and Belle are totally a ship so whatever. </p><p>Bobbi really hates Kara. And Ward. However, she does love sticking her tongue down Tinkerbell's throat, much to Hunter's dismay.</p><p>Hunter's just going to sing passionate Disney songs to himself. Who needs romance? Then again.....Hercules does look good.</p><p>Trip and Fitz don't actually talk very much but they do argue and Fitz is basically a koala bear. </p><p>Meanwhile Mack needs a job with less crazy people, May doesn't get paid enough, and Coulson's seriously wondering why he hasn't fired them already.</p><p>Not to forget the characters no one knows the names of that manage to add their own chaos even though they don't technically exist (in canon). </p><p>Plus there's the antics of a four year old who manages to turn Disney world into chaos in the span of less than an hour.</p><p>Or, the fic where Disney World really needs to work on their casting, or just fire the casting crew altogether.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Whole New World

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this tumblr post here: http://tricountyshit.tumblr.com/post/120030104921/kirku-msbroccolihead-apparently-disney
> 
> This is basically a crack fic where I took everything I read online about Disney, and ignored it. I've never actually been there either so it is what it is. During this fic I mention Disney casting crew being terrible at their job and whether that's true or not, I mean nothing by it. I just think it's hilarious.
> 
> I mention my friends in here because they helped a lot with ideas. Spooky gave me a ton of ideas and I recommend reading her stuff on here, knee_knee, or following her on tumblr, strangelypensieve.
> 
> (Also my OC's got a little out of hand and I regret nothing...)
> 
> Enjoy!

 

_Fitz- Buzz_

_Trip- Woody_

_Mack-Mickey_

_Bobbi- Goofy_

_Hunter- Donald_

_Skye- Mulan_

_Jemma- Belle_

_Ward- Gaston_

_May- Ex Mulan_

_Coulson- Ex-Prince/Boss guy_

* * *

 

 

If there was one thing that was Skye's favorite part of working as Mulan at Disney, it was seeing the cast off duty. Truly, it was the highlight of of her day. Especially her friends, in and out of costume. Though the costumes always added to the effect. This particular morning was no exception.

 

One of the favorite places for the cast was a set of tables where they often ate. It was a large open area with various tables. The entrances were a series of three archways separated by columns of concrete. The room was a branch off from the long hallway that was part of tunnel system under Disney. The best part of the room was how close it was to the locker rooms, just down the hallway in fact. 

 

More than often, the cast gathered there in the morning after they'd gotten dressed. It was the perfect time for everyone to gather their wits and ingest sickening amounts of coffee. Hey, you did what you had to do.

 

The best part about these little meetings was the amount of gossip, and bickering, that happened. It was always fun to hear how imperfect the Disney cast was, even with as hard as they tried. Really, it was a fun time.

 

"Fuck, why the hell is she here? For fucks sake you still don't work down here, Kara!" Bobbi sneered, plopping unceremoniously on one of the metal chairs surrounding the table most occupied in the corner. She dropped the head of her Goofy costume at her feet. Kara, who wasn't a character but worked in retail, was perched in her boyfriend Ward's lap at the table far left. He was done up in his Gaston costume and she was stroking his hair. Kara did her best not to look offended by Bobbi while Ward spared her a cold glare. Bobbi only grinned cheekily at him.

 

"How's the suit, mutt?" Ward asked, raising an eyebrow. Bobbi rolled her eyes and mimed gagging. 

 

"At least kids like me, no one likes Gaston. Casting did a great job." To make her point, Bobbi slammed the Goofy head on the table. Sometimes it was hard to take her seriously when she was in costume, even without the head. 

 

"I brought coffee!" Skye moved from where she was waiting in the archway to take a seat next to Bobbi. A few other characters nodded their hellos and Tinkerbell, Skye was pretty sure her name or nickname was Billy, grinned at her brightly. That girl was always smiling even off duty. It was almost sickening sometimes. Plus she was the only other person besides Jemma that wasn't American. She was Australian if Skye wasn't mistaken. Skye only knew who she was because Bobbi had befriended her for whatever reason. None of their other friends had shown up yet. 

 

"I knew I loved you for a reason!" Bobbi snatched up her coffee and immediately took a large gulp. Then she offered some to Tink, which Skye decided to leave alone. 

 

"Hello ladies." Hunter slid into the chair next to Skye's. His Donald head was tucked under his arm and the rest of his suit sat awkwardly on said chair. 

 

"Hunter, just the guy we've not been looking for." Skye teased. 

 

"Rude, Skye. No way for a princess to be acting." Hunter tutted mockingly. A loud commotion filled the air as the seven dwarves clamored in. Skye didn't know any of them, just that they were a gang of nerds and friends with Jemma and Fitz. Speaking of.

 

"Ward is disgusting and infuriating." Jemma grumbled, taking a seat at the table. Mack, Fitz and Trip followed suit. The boys' heads were shoved under the table, or in Fitz's case in his lap. Jemma adjusted her wig as she plucked her coffee off the tray. 

 

"Yeah, what'd he do now?" Skye asked concerned. Jemma huffed in annoyance, throwing her hands up.

 

"Bloody hell, he seems to think that because we work together that we're friends of sorts. Or that I have any interest in him outside of my character. He couldn't be more wrong! That man is a creep and if he smacks my arse once more in front of the kids, I will complain."

 

"I'm sure he's trying to rile you up." Mack offered with a casual shrug. Trip and Fitz were too busy locked in an intense glare off and whispered argument. It brought Skye endless joy watching them fight one moment and then having to get into character and make nice in the next. Woody and Buzz were supposed to be friends, Fitz and Trip were anything but. In fact they despised one another. Skye was pretty sure it was Fitz's jealousy and the idea Trip held a torch for Jemma. Something Fitz did himself. Or at least he once did. She wasn't completely sure anymore because of his weird thing with Mack. 

 

Oh man, if only they knew. 

 

"It's time to get going people, the park opens in twenty minutes." May yelled, appearing out of what seemed like nowhere. She made a mental checklist of everyone who was there already. "Has anyone see Chip or Dale? Are they getting high again? And where are Prince Eric and Adam?" She stomped off in search of the chipmunks and princes, leaving Skye's table snickering. 

 

"Everyone knows Eric's probably blowing Adam in the locker rooms." Bobbi commented, complete with an obscene gesture that had Jemma leaning over to smack her arm. Skye's sides hurt she was laughing so hard. What was worse was Skye didn't really know any of their real names. May probably didn't either, she disliked most everyone. The point was it was kind of messed up talking about childrens characters giving blow jobs at Disney World. The rest of the table started scattering off towards their various destinations, leaving the small group of friends behind.

 

"I really don't think you should be talking, Bobs." Hunter commented, raising his eyebrows. Bobbi narrowed her eyes in a warning glare before shoving on her head. She made a 'I'm watching you' signal, which wasn't very intimidating coming from Goofy, before marching off. The bickering duo followed behind, their own heads in hand. Hunter winked at Skye's confused gaze before putting on his own head and hurrying after. 

 

"Remind me again why we're friends with them?" Mack asked, grabbing his head from the ground. 

 

"Oh Mack, you love them. Admit it!" Jemma teased. 

 

"Debatable." He muttered before pulling on his Mickey head and reluctantly following his friends. Jemma giggled, shaking her head in amusement. 

 

"You think people would bring their kids if they knew what we got up to?" Skye asked. Jemma snorted and sipped at her coffee.

 

"I highly doubt it, Skye. Bobbi wasn't wrong about Adam and Eric." 

 

"Yeah, well we're not all that bad. 'Sides they've got to be better than the Psycho himself. Wouldn't be surprised if him and the wannabe character get up to murder in their free time." Skye shrugged, smoothing out her skirt. 

 

"Why are you still here? And Kara shouldn't you be somewhere that's not here." May reappeared gripping the shirt of a flustered prince. Jemma and Skye shared a look before bursting into giggles. Kara scattered quickly, kissing Ward before leaving. 

 

"Come on, Jemma. Don't want to keep the kids waiting." Ward winked. The look on his face was absolutely lecherous. Jemma shuddered and Skye had to resist the urge to gag. Hesitantly Jemma stood from her seat to go with Ward. She threw a 'help me' glance over her shoulder before they disappeared from sight. 

 

"Skye!" May yelled, startling Skye out of her thoughts. 

 

"I'm going!" She stood up and gathered the trash left behind to sweep into the trash. 

 

"Behave today." May eyed her before yanking the prince along and leaving once again. 

 

"Behave." Skye mocked, making a face. She huffed in annoyance and walked off towards her station. It was going to be a long day. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Get a room _Goofy_! I don't need to see you shoving your tongue down Tinkerbell's throat." Hunter's yelling filtered into the room as Bobbi ducked into the locker room. Skye was already secluded in there and hiding in the corner. 

 

"You still got that flask?" Bobbi asked, laying her head on the counter. Skye held out the metal flask. Bobbi took it, downing a rather large gulp. 

 

"Bad day?" Skye asked. Bobbi nodded wordlessly and handed back the flask. Skye immediately took a drink once it was returned. 

 

"You could say something like that." Bobbi sighed. She leaned up against the wall next to Skye and slid to the floor. Her hair was sticking to her face with sweat and her skin was shiny with it. 

 

"I don't envy those costumes." Skye commented. Bobbi snorted, sticking out her tongue.

 

"Shut up."

 

"So Tinkerbell, huh?" Skye raised an amused eyebrow. 

 

"I will throw my head at you. What part of shut up did you not get?" Bobbi glared. Skye laughed at the red that had also tinted her cheeks. 

 

"I'm not judging, she's attractive. Should have known when you shared your coffee." Skye shrugged, taking another swig from her flask. Bobbi made a face and a strangled noise. 

 

"What about you and the nerd, huh?" Bobbi raised an eyebrow. She put out her hands in a gimme motion. Skye shrugged, handing off the flask. 

 

"Jemma? It's a bit complicated but we're sorta together." 

 

"Yeah? That's awesome, Skye. Mulan and Belle are totally a ship. Somewhere." Bobbi grinned. They were such a mess. Disney had really done a _great_ job on their casting. None of them had been fired yet though, which had to mean something.

 

Oh who were they kidding, Coulson was saving their asses. They owed that man their jobs. May too. She didn't report half the stuff she managed to discover. 

 

"You think so?" Skye laughed, stealing back her flask. Bobbi shrugged, her head lolling to the side. The door flew open and Jemma rushed in, slamming the door shut behind her. She didn't say anything as she moved to the counter. Her wig was mussed, her dress askew and crinkled. Her chest was heaving rapidly. 

 

"Are you okay, nerd?" Bobbi asked worriedly. 

 

"Ward got a little handsy coming down the tunnels." Jemma breathed, desperately trying to fix her attire. Bobbi jumped up and snatched up the head of her costume. 

 

"I'll kill him. Skye get up, you need to defend your girls honor. A girl worth fighting for!" Bobbi announced. Jemma moved to block the door. 

 

"No, Bobbi! Wait, have you two been drinking? That was a terrible pun." Jemma furrowed her brows. Skye hurriedly hid the flask behind her back as she rose from the ground.

 

"That's beside the point." Bobbi grumbled. 

 

"Ward's a creep, he can't get away with this Jems." Skye pointed out. Jemma sighed and moved from the door.

 

"Don't get fired, either of you!" 

 

Bobbi grinned and pushed out of the locker room, a woman on a mission. Skye hurried after. Jemma stayed behind to fix what was wrong with her costume. 

 

Ward was sitting at his usual table, Kara and Raina next to him. They were probably talking about murder or kicking puppies. 

 

"Oh look, Kara's brought someone else who also DOESN'T WORK DOWN HERE." Bobbi yelled, emphasizing her point. Raina gave her a withering look while once again Kara _tried_ not to look offended.

 

"Oh look the mutt is cranky." Ward mocked.

 

"I swear I will fucking throw this at you, Ward. Who do you think you are? Jemma is obviously not interested." Bobbi narrowed her eyes, waving her costume head around. 

 

"Just having a little fun. Not my fault Jemma's so uptight." Ward shrugged. 

 

"She could use some loosening up." Kara commented, snickering. Bobbi made a noise before _hurling_ the Goofy head at Kara's head. It nailed her in the face and sent her sprawling on the ground. Even Raina couldn't help but laugh, especially with how horrified Ward looked. He hurriedly helped Kara up while Skye cackled. 

 

"What the hell?!" Kara cried, finally getting to her feet. 

 

"Don't test me, Kara." Bobbi huffed, proud of her actions. Skye had to wipe away tears from her eyes. She was laughing _that_ hard. 

 

"I was going to kick your ass, Ward, but I think having Kara as a girlfriend is punishment enough." Skye laughed, clutching her sides. Okay in hindsight maybe that wasn't the best thing to say?

 

She did not expect to cause a brawl.

 

Unfortunately though, the next thing she knew Ward and Kara were advancing and then Bobbi was on them. Both of them, however that worked. Skye couldn't even begin to know how she should help. She just watched mesmerized with Raina. Bobbi managed to take both of them down, leaving them lying on the ground. Her nose was bleeding and her lip was split but she looked otherwise untouched. 

 

"Have fun greeting kids now, Ward." Bobbi huffed. She snatched the flask from Skye's back pocket and then stormed off. Skye just couldn't believe she didn't get it on camera. Watching a chick in a Goofy costume beat up Gaston was YouTube material. How she managed that much damage with her gloves still on was beyond Skye. 

 

_(At least she got Hunter and Ward going at it later, because with the huge butt of Hunter's costume it was hysterical.)_

 

"What happened here?" Jemma showed up, jogging in looking frantic. 

 

"Bobbi protected your honor?" Skye offered sheepishly. Jemma frowned. She glanced at the two on the ground who were slowly trying to rise. 

 

"Of course she did." Jemma sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. The sounds of Fitz and and Trip bickering came into hearing range as they grew closer. Another sound accompanied them. 

 

The sound of May.

 

"C'mon on, Jem. I don't feel like dealing with May's wrath." Skye took Jemma's hand and hurried off. She'd leave them to deal with their mess. Besides it was about time to go home anyway and she owed Jemma a real date.

 

You know, one that didn't involve making out in a storage closet. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Is she okay?" Skye took a seat at their table. For once Ward and Kara were nowhere to be found. However Bobbi was lying face down on the ground. Hunter was about to answer when someone screamed unbelievably loud from somewhere in the tunnels.

 

 _"Walt Disney never said 'If you can dream it, you can do it'."_  

 

Everyone but Bobbi turned to give the direction of the scream a strange look. What was that? People at Disney were really defensive about Walt Disney. Also their characters, seriously you don't insult a cast members character. That's just looking for a fight.

 

Unless of course you're Bobbi who did it all the time because she was looking for a fight about 90% of the time. 

 

"As I was going to say, she's fine. Just emotionally traumatized by the Disney movie marathon her and Tinkerbell had." Hunter said gleefully. Bobbi made a noise of protest but didn't lift her head.

 

"She's hungover too." Mack added.

 

"That gives me an idea, Skye! We should watch some of the Disney classics. Dumbo or Bambi or Fox and the Hound.." Jemma suggested, growing excited. Skye cringed, pulling a face. Did Jemma want to see her bawl her eyes out? Probably, evil tiny nerd that she was. 

 

"Sounds....great." Skye tried to smile but it turned more into a grimace. 

 

"Anyone care to explain what happened to our Gaston?" May seemed to appear out of nowhere. Skye jumped out of her skin, placing a hand over her heart. 

 

"Thanks for the heart attack, May." Skye gasped. May only gave her a withering look before zeroing in on Bobbi.

 

"Barbra." May frowned. Bobbi said something that was incoherent to anyone, except May apparently. "Are you trying to get fired? I don't care if he deserved it."

 

More unintelligible mumbling.

 

"He did what to Simmons?" May raised an eyebrow, turning her gaze to Jemma. Jemma noticeably shrunk back and lowered her head. Skye had to admit May could be scary. Especially when she was trying to keep work running smoothly. 

 

"There was an incident in the tunnels yesterday." Jemma admitted. May didn't seem to need more than that because she nodded and walked off, a purpose in her step. God help the poor unfortunate soul in her warpath.

 

"Get to work!" She yelled over her shoulder. The guys scrambled up, Trip and Fitz falling and landing on top of each other. Hunter heaved Bobbi off the ground and thrust the head into her arms. 

 

"We're off to sweat to death!" Bobbi announced loudly before shoving her head on. Jemma watched giggling as they marched off. Their friends were infinitely more amusing in costume. 

 

"C'mon, Jem, I'll walk you." Skye held out her hand and grinned. Jemma took it before they set off for Jemma's post. 

 

"Do you think Ward will show up?" Jemma asked worriedly. 

 

"I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's licking his wounds somewhere with his psycho girlfriend." Skye shrugged.

 

"That's not very polite for a princess." Jemma teased, leaning her head on Skye's shoulder. 

 

"With all the smiling we have to do on job I think you can let it slide." Skye laughed. She could make out Trip and Fitz shoving at each other ahead. 

 

"I don't understand why they can't seem to get along." Jemma squinted to see who was fighting and then let out a long dramatic sigh.

 

"You do realize they're fighting over you, right?" Skye snorted. Jemma looked at her as if she had grown a second head. 

 

"That's absurd, Skye! Why would they be fighting over me?"

 

"Because Fitz is head over heels for you, or at least he used to be. He thinks Trip is too. Duh..." Skye said as if was the most obvious answer. Truthfully she thought it was, didn't everyone know that?

 

"Wh-What? You aren't serious are you?" Jemma frowned. 

 

"Of course I am, Jemma. I don't know how you didn't know this. Everyone knows this. Watch!" Skye spotted Tinkerbell and Hercules chatting up ahead. Skye went up and tapped Tinkerbell's shoulder. 

 

"Hiya!" She grinned and Hercules nodded hello. 

 

"I'm trying to prove a point here. Doesn't everyone know why Woody and Buzz hate each other?" Skye asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Woody and Buzz? Yeah, they do." Hercules shrugged. 

 

"Oh golly, you mean Trip and Fitz?" Of course Tinkerbell knew their names. She probably knew everyone's names. " _Everyone_ knows Fitz is jealous and that's why they don't like each other. They both like Jemma!" How could that girl be that chipper? It should be illegal. Skye couldn't understand how Bobbi could stand it. 

 

Skye turned to give Jemma a look that said 'I told you so'. Jemma looked a mixture of horrified and mortified, her cheeks heating up to a bright red. Skye couldn't help but laugh at her girlfriend, pulling her along the tunnels. 

 

"Don't worry, babe. I'll make it up with a make out session. Sound good, yeah?" Skye grinned, giving her an over exaggerated wink. Jemma swatted at her arm playfully and laughed. 

 

"As long as we don't get caught, again." 

 

* * *

 

 

"How many times does this make now, Skye?" Coulson asked, rubbing furiously at his temples. Skye and Jemma were stood in front of his desk, May leaning up against it casually. At least she didn't look murderous? 

 

"Not that many?" Skye offered hopefully. Jemma was latched onto her arm, eyes down on the ground in front of her. 

 

"Eleven, eleven times you've been caught 'making out' at inappropriate locations. Three of those times you were even seen by children!" Coulson sighed, taking off his glasses. He rubbed his eyes before placing the glasses on the table.  "I honestly don't know how you do it. Any of you! Between you and Bobbi, I've got a handful keeping you and the others employed." 

 

"But you haven't fired us." Skye smiled sheepishly. May narrowed her eyes.

 

"Yet." Coulson muttered, putting his glasses back on. Jemma moved closer to Skye, sneaking a glance up at Coulson. 

 

"Skye why is it that you always get me involved in your bad girl shenanigans!? This is worse than the time you and Bobbi convinced me to put something in Mack's gloves but didn't tell me if was super glue." Jemma whispered. Skye snickered which caused Jemma to swat at her arm. Coulson gave them a look that suggested he was probably very much done with them. He waved them off muttering something about "scarring children" and "awkward questions". Once they got out the door they both burst into giggles. 

 

"You do realize May's only pissed because a little girl asked her if Mulan and Belle are going to get married and have a baby, right?" Skye commented once she'd caught her breath. That image just had them dissolving into giggles again and ending up on the floor. Mack found them on the ground fifteen minutes later and immediately checked his gloves.

 

Then he walked off grumbling, because he really needed a new job with a lot less crazy people.

 

* * *

 

 

"Disney gone wild tonight people!" Bobbi yelled, making her rounds through the tunnels. She ducked into the locker room to announce it as well. 

 

"What's Disney gone wild?" Tinkerbell, who Bobbi had announced actually did have a name and it was Billy, asked while slipping her dress off. The name was something Skye decided would be a source of endless entertainment if those two did get serious. Bobbi and Billy, hehe. That would be an interesting ship name and since Skye took it upon herself to name all the couples, she was determined to find the perfect one. 

 

Nothing would ever live up to Skimmons though. 

 

"Basically we all go for drinks, get stupid drunk, and then sing Disney songs really badly." Skye explained, yanking her jeans up over her hips. 

 

"Because we can never escape it." Bobbi whispered in mock horror, dramatically pressing up against the wall and slapping her hand over her chest. Jemma rolled her eyes and threw a make up wipe at Bobbi's head. 

 

"It's quite a bit of fun actually, you should come!" Jemma addressed this offer towards Billy.

 

"Oh yeah, we could always use more pretty ladies." Bobbi winked. 

 

"Aww shucks, I would love to come!" Billy beamed. Seriously, who was this chick? Skye was pretty sure even Australians didn't say golly or shucks. Though she had to admit the way her face lit up was adorable. Skye groaned inwardly, they were going to adopt her just like they had done with the tiny nerds (Fitz and Jemma). She could just feel it. The only difference was the new girl was like six feet tall and not tiny at all. How had she managed to be cast as Tinkerbell? Disney should probably get a new casting department. 

 

"Enough flirting, we should get going. The boys are going to complain about us taking forever again." Skye finished the last button on her shirt. She pulled Jemma into her arms and smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. 

 

"You missed a button, dear." Jemma chuckled, fixing the buttons on Skye's shirt. Skye shrugged and leaned in for another kiss. 

 

"Oh well, this certainly explains a lot." Raina's voice pulled the couple out of their moment. She was standing in the doorway with Kara, both looking disgusted. Kara looked pretty worse for wear too just in general. 

 

"As far as I know you two still don't work down here. Which begs the question, why are you here?" Bobbi crossed her arms. 

 

"I'm escorting Kara to pick up her things, she's found a job elsewhere." Raina dead panned. 

 

"I'll have to tell Ward the reason Simmons can't take a compliment is she's a d-" Kara tried to finish her sentence, but Bobbi clapped her hand over the other woman's mouth and pushed her up against the wall.

 

"Finish that sentence, I dare you. Let's find out the damage I can do to that ugly mug of yours without Goofy gloves on." Bobbi sneered, a murderous glare focused full force on Kara. Kara at least had the decency to look scared. Billy put a calming hand on Bobbi's shoulder which surprisingly did its job. Bobbi let go and stepped back. "C'mon guys, let's go get drunk. Hunter owes me a rendition of Part of Your World." Then she pushed past Raina and Kara, Billy trotting faithfully behind her. 

 

"C'mon, babe." Skye picked up her bag and walked out, holding Jemma's hand of course. Walking out on someone you hate, so much satisfaction.

 

* * *

 

 

If there was one thing more funny than the cast off duty at work, it was off duty drunk Disney World cast members.  

 

No seriously, if there wasn't a rule among all members then it would end up a viral video on YouTube. Disney gone wild had it's rules for a reason. A few of them were as followed:

 

**1\. No photographs or videos (the most frequently broken rule)**

**2\. Karaoke always happens, but only after everyone is sufficiently drunk**

**3\. You can talk about work, but you don't tell people what you do.**

**4\. We don't talk about what happens at Disney gone wild**

**5\. Don't let Hunter drive (after too much alcohol he thinks he's back in Britain but really he shouldn't be driving anyway).**

**6\. We don't tell May**

**7\. WE DON'T TELL MAY ANYTHING.**

 

There were a few others that went largely ignored or forgotten, but those were the most important. Especially not telling May what went on. They'd once invited her but apparently she'd done enough of it when she worked as Mulan. Supposedly she spent her nights otherwise.

 

Of course there was the drinking game too. A game born of how predictable those who partook were. The whole thing was funny because it was a guarantee to get them smashed. That was how often these things happened. Things were added along the way too.

 

_Take a shot every time Skye follows Jemma around like a lost puppy._

_Take a shot every time someone managed to get themselves into an embarrassing situation_

_Take a shot every time Skye and Bobbi get themselves in trouble_

_Take two shots when they rope Jemma into it_

_Take a shot every time Fitz starts rubbing Mack's head_

_Take two shots every time Hunter brings up his past relationship with Bobbi, and then hit him_  

 

It was things of that sort that made things interesting. Of course there were other games and karaoke too, go big or go home. Skye hated strip poker most of all because Jemma was insanely good and Skye was not. She was decent at some of the others at least. Truth or Dare was probably the most dangerous they played and had done some damage in the past.

 

Jemma and Bobbi wouldn't talk to each other let alone look each other in the eye for a week, Skye punched Hunter in the jaw, Hunter dumped an entire beer over Bobbi's head, Jemma shattered a glass over Mack's head and Fitz and Trip went missing for at least 24 hours. And THAT was all thanks to the chaos of one night of truth or dare. They didn't really play so much anymore. 

 

What they did no matter what, was karaoke. Karaoke of Disney songs too. Once you work for Disney, you live Disney and what else would you sing? Luckily they'd found a bar that put up with them once a week.

 

They'd only been kicked out once or twice....maybe a few times....

 

"Hunter! We have a deal remember!" Bobbi yelled, turning to point accusingly at Hunter. She was perched on a stool at the bar, Billy was on the stool next to her hanging upside down. They'd learned she didn't handle alcohol very well. Fitz was on Mack's back like a koala bear and rubbing his hair at a table in the corner. Nothing unusual there. Trip, Hercules and Tiana were farther down the bar locked in a drinking competition. Jemma was on Skye's lap, her eyes glued on the karaoke singers. They were at the very center table of the bar with a few other various people Skye didn't know. One was Minnie? Possibly Jesse from Toy Story? She really wasn't sure anymore. 

 

Hunter though, Hunter was definitely hiding from Bobbi and his duty to karaoke. He was crouched underneath the table and somehow she still found him.

 

"I hate that song, can't I sing something else? Anything else." Hunter emerged from under the table, managing to hit his head in the process. 

 

"Anything?!" Bobbi's face lit up and Hunter immediately realized his mistake. Oh no. 

 

"Don't you dare." Hunter narrowed his eyes, still rubbing at his head. 

 

"Why don't you show everyone how amazing your rendition of _Reflection_ is?"

 

Oh no, this was bad. Very bad. Not just for Hunter, but everyone involved. Dammit Bobbi, they really needed a new rule about this.

 

"You heard the lady, Hunter." Hercules hefted Hunter on stage and then returned to his place. Hunter seemed resigned to his fate and took the mic in hand. Bobbi clapped gleefully, an absolutely evil grin on her face. Billy ended up almost falling off the stool onto her head because she forgot she was upside down and tried to clap too. Adults, ladies and gentleman. 

 

The first notes of _Reflection_ played and Hunter beckoned for Skye to join him. Skye latched onto Jemma and refused to move. Nope, wasn't going to happen. She was very happy with her girlfriend in her lap and not on stage. She'd find something else to sing later. Besides, Hunter took the song way too seriously.

 

"WHO IS THIS GIRL I SEEEEEE?" Hunter sang passionately, actual tears streaming down his face as he sang. His movements were over dramatic, clutching at his chest as if in physical pain. He jumped off the stage and yanked Skye out of her seat, Jemma falling to the ground. She hit her butt with a small 'oomph'. 

 

"SOMEHOW I CANNOT HIDE, WHO I AM. THOUGH I'VE TRIED." Hunter wrapped his arm around Skye and stroked her hair, still singing very emotionally. By the end of the song Skye had escaped and Hunter was huddled in the ground crying. Bobbi of course was cackling from her seat. Of course she wasn't going to help. She'd let Mack drag him off, after everyone took a shot because honestly this had happened before. 

 

Many, many times before.

 

"You alright, babe?" Skye asked, helping Jemma off the floor. Apparently she'd refused to move due to her indignation of being shoved off her lovely girlfriends lap to begin with. 

 

"Oh I'm perfectly fine, I was just laying on an absolutely filthy pub floor." Jemma muttered. Skye tried to help her dust off but Jemma swatted at her hand. "My turn!" She announced. Marching up the stage, Skye was only slightly concerned.

 

Her concern grew more when the opening notes of _Poor Unfortunate Souls_ started. Skye knew she had been practicing, but fuck. This was scary. She would be lying if she didn't admit she was slightly scared but also turned on. Make that very turned on. Seeing her dorky girlfriend channel her inner villain was seriously surreal. 

 

When the song was over Jemma came bounding over to Skye. 

 

"Did you like it? Did I do well?" Jemma asked hopefully, a grin stretching her lips. Skye couldn't help but laugh at the stark contrast of who Jemma had just been playing on stage and who she'd become. 

 

"It was great, babe. Really." Skye pulled her in for a hug and subsequently a kiss. Then they took a seat to check out the other acts. Like Fitz singing a tone deaf version of _Someday My Prince Will Come,_ directed at Mack of course. Trip and Mack did a duet of _Love Is An Open Door_ , complete with lovey expressions and dancing. Bobbi decided to sing _Be Prepared_ and dedicated it to Ward and Kara. They weren't even invited along anymore, hadn't been in a long time. Not after The Incident. ( _AKA Ward got way too drunk and way too gay for his girlfriend and Mack's liking when he tried to get in Fitz's pants._ ) Billy did some Tinkerbell song that had a title Skye just didn't care about, because it wasn't fair for someone to be that good at karaoke. While drunk! Skye finished off her own night with her rendition of _Beauty and the Beast_ that was half sung at Jemma's feet and half sung draped over her girlfriend, much to Jemma's annoyance. Jemma was such a grumpy drunk sometimes.

 

By the end of the night the bartenders and other patrons were sufficiently frazzled, many swearing up and down they would never take their kids to Disney as long as crazy people worked there. Seriously, who did hiring for Disney???

 

Disney Gone Wild for you. If quite a bit of the cast was hungover the following day, May certainly didn't say anything.

 

* * *

 

 

A new day dawned at Disney World that would prove to be the most challenging and interesting day for the characters yet. It would probably go down in Disney World Cast History. It started out like any other day, but things changed when Bobbi arrived. 

 

Skye was desperately nursing an extra large cup of coffee after spending most of the night on her laptop. Her girlfriend sat next to her enjoying Skye's growing discomfort. Jemma had warned her after all. As usual Trip and Fitz were locked in an argument and somehow Hunter had found himself between the two of them. Poor guy. Mack had smartly moved to the opposite side of Jemma away from the argument. Ward was back with a slightly less pretty face, but no one paid him any attention. He was slightly less infuriating without Kara. Billy wasn't around because she had the day off. Otherwise, Bobbi was the only one missing which was odd. Fortunately she came skidding into the room missing her gloves and head entirely, shortly after Skye made note of her absence.  

 

"I'm enacting The Code." She gasped, breathless. That definitely sparked everyone's attention and they turned to eye her suspiciously. One does not enact The Code lightly. 

 

The Code was the brainchild of Skye and Bobbi back when Skye was trying to land a date with Jemma. She'd enlisted half the park to help her ask in the most elaborate way possible. After that it became a sacred thing for special occasions. Like the day Prince Phillip proposed to Peter Pan. 

 

Bobbi obviously had something big going on if she was enacting it.

 

"For what?" Hunter seemed to be the voice of everyone. Bobbi started fidgeting with her hands which meant this was serious. Skye didn't think she'd ever seen Bobbi so nervous. 

 

"Well things with Billy and I are getting kind of serious. And see she's got this kid that I really need to like me. We've only met like once before, she didn't take to me very well. Anyways, today is Billy's day off and she's bringing the kid here. That means it's gotta be the best day ever for her." Bobbi explained looking grave. Skye had to admit she didn't look very confident in her plan. There was plenty of desperation though. It was weird seeing Bobbi so serious about anything that wasn't violent. Especially romance. 

 

"You want to impress a child?" Hunter raised an eyebrow. 

 

"She's like four a half and her name is Wendy." Bobbi bobbed her head up and down mechanically. Mack snickered and even the Toy Story duo stopped arguing long enough to look at her. 

 

"You said her name is Wendy?" Fitz asked in disbelief. 

 

"Yeah, why?" Bobbi looked confused while everyone else was trying to hold back their amusement. 

 

"She plays Tinkerbell and her daughter's name is Wendy, girl." Trip commented. He seemed to take pity on Bobbi's bewilderment. 

 

"That's beside the point! You guys need to do this for me. I can't risk losing Billy, which is new for me so I expect full support." 

 

"Alright, Bob. We'll help you in your hair brained scheme." Skye sighed, rubbing furiously at her eyes.

 

"I think it'll be fun! Not just for Wendy, but us as well." Jemma added her input excitedly. Skye gave her a side long look before slowly rising from her seat. 

 

"C'mon guys, we have a four year old to impress." Skye groaned. Bobbi threw her arms around Skye's neck, hugging her way too tightly for Skye to be able to breathe. The things she did for friends.....

 

It was going to be a long day.

 

Wendy was basically a smaller copy of her mother with freckles. She even had the height thing going for her. The one thing that obviously didn't match was personality. While Billy was grinning ear to ear, Wendy looked fed up with everything the moment she entered the gate. It was going to be a lot harder than they thought. 

 

Seriously though, what kid didn't love Disney World?

 

"Look, Wendy! It's Goofy. He's going to be our helper today." Billy pointed out the character walking up to them. Wendy glared at Bobbi like she was personally offended. It was like she knew it was Bobbi! She didn't exactly like the thought of someone dating her Mommy. 

 

Bobbi was not one to be discouraged and waved over dramatically, something you had to know if you were a character. Everything was a big show when you communicated mostly with actions and no real facial expressions. Talking wasn't really wasn't supposed to happen, but Bobbi already had plans to break all the rules anyway.

 

"Hello, Wendy! Garsh, we're going to have oodles of fun today." Bobbi announced in her stellar Goofy impression. It really was the main reason she got the job to begin with. Mack was probably a better option for height but he was definitely a better Mickey. He could do a pretty decent Mickey impression. Hunter's Donald impression was even better though. It was scary how spot on it was.

 

"I don't like Goofy." Wendy dead panned, fixing Bobbi with a look that made her shiver. She was a grown woman but hell if the kid didn't resemble those creepy horror movie kids. 

 

"Wendy! Don't be rude, you need to say thank you and that you're sorry for being rude." Billy scolded, flashing Bobbi an apologetic look. 

 

"I'm sorry, thank you." Wendy grumbled, her lip quivering. Okay nope, time to move along. 

 

"I have a few friends I think you'd like to meet!" Bobbi announced, holding out her gloved hand. Wendy reluctantly took it and off they went. Their first stop was to find Mack and Hunter who were SUPPOSED to be waiting. Bobbi really should have known better. Honestly. 

 

"Bobbi look at these tiny motherfuckers!" Hunter called, waddling behind a mother duck and her row of ducklings. He was making absurd, excited hand gestures the whole time and Bobbi could see Mack struggling to keep a grip off to the side. Bobbi just inwardly cringed at the swearing but felt better when Billy didn't immediately clap her hands over Wendy's ears. She just watched in amusement while her daughter looked unimpressed.

 

"He's too big." Wendy scrunched up her nose. Yes, that was obviously the problem with this image. Totally. 

 

"Boys! We have a guest!" Bobbi hissed, glad Wendy couldn't see the look she was giving them. Mack seemed to understand Bobbi's annoyance and pulled himself together to put on his show for Wendy. Hunter was oblivious, still waddling behind the damn ducks. 

 

"Silly Donald!" Mack chirped, yanking Hunter by his costume's bill. He quacked in anger which actually managed to pull a small smile from Wendy. Baby steps, tiny successes. She'd take what she could get. 

 

"They're funny." Wendy admitted, her tiny fingers curling tightly around Bobbi's glove. It actually made Bobbi happier than she'd admit to any of her friends. 

 

"Why don't we go see who else wants to say hello?" Bobbi suggested, leading the girls off towards their next destination. Everything needed to go right and the universe seemed to think otherwise. In fact, it seemed the Disney cast had other plans entirely. Now while they did try to help, it just didn't work out. At least Bobbi did learn some new things about Wendy and Billy both.

 

Billy did not like clowns and taking her anywhere near them would result in disaster. Disaster such as dumping her drink down Bobbi's front while she screamed. Wendy did not like anything that had to do with Alice In Wonderland. That ended in a full blown tantrum and Billy carrying a crying, screaming four year old around for at least twenty minutes. 

 

Wendy also did not like Monster's Inc and kicked poor Sully in the shin. Bobbi really owed him for that. She did however really like Chip and Dale. Those two had her giggling in seconds and Bobbi needed some pointers. Maybe it would help if she was high? Maybe?

 

What Bobbi didn't see coming and in all honesty should have, was Wendy's attachment to Maleficent. Maleficent was played by a chick Bobbi actually did know. Her name was Ionie but had earned the nickname Spooky thanks to how well she did her job. While she wasn't the best with kids, she worked the villain angle well. Wendy seemed to catch her off guard.

 

"There is a tiny monster on my leg." Maleficent commented, eyeing Wendy with disdain. Wendy had latched onto her leg happily and refused to let go. Maleficent was doing a great job of staying in character anyway. Billy seemed to be enjoying herself and snapped a ton of pictures. Meanwhile Bobbi pondered the ways to pry Wendy off poor Ionie. 

 

"C'mon, Wendy. Don't you want to go see Winnie the Pooh?" Bobbi suggested. Wendy promptly ignored her, her grip tightening. Taking a deep breath, Bobbi decided to regroup. She could do this. Wendy was a four and a half year old child. Bobbi dealt with kids everyday. It was her job. She'd dealt with troublesome children plenty too. Nothing new for her here. 

 

**Nothing.....new......**

 

_Thirty_

 

_Minutes_

 

_Later_

 

It took a half an hour to coax Wendy off and even then it took numerous bribes. This was not what she was cut out for. Bobbi was probably just kidding herself. In over her head. She liked Billy and she liked Wendy but she was seriously starting to consider if it was worth it.

 

Especially when the next fiasco happened. 

 

Now it probably served Bobbi right for even taking Wendy to see the Winnie the Pooh characters. Especially considering Rach, Tigger, and Issa, Eeyore, were such little mischievous shits. Bobbi only knew them because they were _the_ people to see about prank materials. How was Bobbi supposed to know they would get Wendy into trouble though? Seriously! 

 

She didn't think anything about it and the next thing she knew, Wendy was nowhere to be found. It was like she disappeared. Which was weird because you'd think with Bobbi, Billy and half a dozen characters around they could keep an eye on a four year old. Apparently not. 

 

"This isn't good." Billy looked apprehensive and worried, which was understandable. However she didn't look nearly as bad as Bobbi did. Not that anyone could see her inside her suit, but her actions read loud and clear.

 

"This is a red alert people. We need to find Wendy!" Bobbi yelled, her movements frantic. Tigger and Eeyore quietly backed away, not saying a word. How were they supposed to know how much trouble Wendy could get into?

 

And did she seriously get into trouble.....

 

It was the signs of where she had been that started them in the right direction. Disney World was a big place. The day was hot and running around in a huge character suit didn't help. Definitely not one of Bobbi's better moments. At least when they found Chip and Dale passed out in the pool at Splash Mountain they knew the direction she was going in.

 

Then there were Fitz and Trip chasing the out of control teacups around because their heads had somehow ended up in there. The operator couldn't figure out how to get them to stop. Whenever one of the guys would get close enough, they'd get taken out by another teacup. This was very traumatizing for the kids in line who watched screaming or the ones on the ride who looked like they might puke.

 

Wendy must of found the dole whip stand because they came upon it tipped over, dole whip melting all over the hot ground. The poor vendor looked shell shocked. He just stood there with his hands in the air and staring at the disaster. A few parents had to struggle to keep their toddlers from wanting to eat the melted mess.

 

It's amazing how much trouble such young kid could do in less than an hour. Bobbi found the aftermath of many, many situations that she couldn't explain if she tried. Logic told her it shouldn't make sense, but somehow Wendy had managed to turn Disney world into chaos. Billy's only explanation was that she was too smart for her own good.

 

Bobbi tried to keep that in mind when she found the entirety of Alice's tea party in tatters. The Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit were struggling to clean what looked like cake off their costumes. Alice was a mess, her wig askew and her dress smothered in cake. It was smeared all over her face. Considering how terrified Wendy had been earlier, this was certainly a step in the wrong direction. 

 

Anna and Elsa were the next targets with Hercules somehow involved. The three wound up hanging upside down from one of the dumbo rides, and it was still going. The operator was nowhere to be found. There were even more kids around too which made Bobbi start to worry she was actually going to get fired this time if things kept up.

 

She was very, very convinced she was fired when they found Stitch wedged in one of the water slides. Billy at that point was panicking. She was hysterical that her four year old was going to be a felon. Bobbi had no idea where she came to that conclusion.

 

Okay she might have understood the conclusion when they found Skye and Jemma stuck in a loop of It's A Small World. They were locked into the seat and again, no operator to be found!

 

"We have a fan." Jemma laughed nervously once they'd been freed. 

 

"Dude, she yelled 'I ship it!' and then started the ride before running off." Skye yelled, smacking Bobbi upside her Goofy head. 

 

"This isn't my fault!" Bobbi cried. Maybe she was finally bordering on hysterical. She had to keep calm though because Billy was standing next to her near tears. Before Bobbi could say anything helpful, a security guard came jogging up. 

 

"Ariel reported seeing her over in Poseidon's kingdom." He huffed, gesturing to his radio. 

 

"Off we go, again." Bobbi sighed. They were off again, Skye and Jemma left behind. Skye was wondering if the job was worth it. Jemma just clung to Skye. She wasn't sure she'd ever get that song out of her head again. Satan child.

 

This was a cycle that went on for quite a long time. The whole park and cast of characters were on the lookout. Princes, princesses and suited characters alike reported their sightings. It wasn't until nearly an hour passed that they found her. The girl who played Kuzco had found her finally. Tantoun was amazing with kids and an even better Kuzco than any of the guys who ever played him. Seriously, if Tinkerbell could be six feet tall then Kuzco could be a girl. They were fortunate she'd found Wendy. 

 

"I hear there's someone you're looking for." Kuzco smiled kindly. Wendy was sitting in her lap and sleepily clutching at a stuffed Tick-Tock. It probably came from when she'd taken a trip to the gift shop. She'd managed to leave a path of destruction in there. Her head was lain on Kuzco's chest,

 

"Oh thank goodness." Billy breathed a sigh of relief, clutching at her chest. 

 

"There you are, we've been worried sick." Bobbi broke into a smile. No one could see it though which was good. Wendy blinked up at her before reaching out her arms for Bobbi. She made grabby motions with her fingers. Billy chuckled, but Bobbi hesitantly picked her up. Wendy laid her head on Bobbi's shoulder, free fingers digging into the material of the costume. 

 

"Someone's tired." Billy commented.

 

"Well then how about a quick trip to Pixie Hollow and then home? I know I promised you could meet Fawn." Bobbi suggested. Wendy smiled and snuggled closer.

 

"I love you, Goofy." She whispered just loud enough for Bobbi to hear. Those words made Bobbi's heart soar and suddenly the whole day was worth it. Completely worth it.

 

Wendy perked up when they got to Pixie Hollow and took pictures with all the fairies. Overall the day had been saved and Bobbi had reached her goal. Billy later reported Wendy wouldn't stop talking about how much fun she had and how Goofy was her new favorite. 

 

She tried to keep that in mind when May and Coulson called her into the office. 

 

"We are aware the others perpetrated a lot of the child's behaviors. Apparently most of what happened wouldn't have even been a possibility if they had stopped the child, instead of encouraging her. Knowing that, we've been told you were the ringleader of this circus." May looked like she was ready to kill. She was sitting on the edge of Coulson's desk, hands folded in her lap. 

 

"I honestly don't know why I haven't fired all of you." Coulson rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He groaned in frustration before fixing Bobbi with a look. 

 

"Do you not realize how many complaints we got yesterday alone?" May hissed. She held up a stack of papers that made Bobbi cringe. 

 

"With all due respect, we were just trying to give Wendy a good time." Bobbi tried. May's look grew more murderous and Coulson just looked unable to comprehend the situation. It was a new level of screw up. 

 

"I wouldn't have this much trouble if I just hired an entire new cast." Coulson looked up at May for help. May didn't seem to be any help at all. He groaned again before waving his hands. 

 

"Out, just get out. I have this mess to clean up and you need to get ready for work." 

 

Bobbi didn't need to be told twice, quickly scampering out of the room. Coulson face planted into the pile of papers on his desk making strangled noises of whatever emotion he was feeling. 

 

"We're far too attached." May sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

 

"I know. Is that worth of all the trouble they cause for us?" Coulson raised his head to look at her. 

 

"Probably not." May rose from her seat and held out her hands. "Give me half the complaints. Those will mysteriously get lost. From there we can deal with this. Offer things to placate the masses." 

 

"What would I do without you, Mel?" Coulson chuckled. He handed her half the papers and she gave him a bemused smile.

 

"You'd probably have to actually do work." And with that she was off to do God know's what with the complaints. Coulson grinned and got to work on his own. He'd deal with the complaints left and figure out what they could afford to do.

 

The Adventures of Melinda May and Phil Coulson. It would be such a shame if the cast all got fired and replaced with people who actually did their job. Who were they kidding though? Disney cast was a family. Despite what others may have thought, May and Coulson were very attached to their current cast.

 

* * *

 

 

_Peggy- Ex-Mary Poppins/Boss_

_Angie- Ex-Snow White_

_Phil-Prince Phillip_

_May- Mulan_

_Maria- Mickey_

_Sharon- Donald_

_Natasha- Tinkerbell_

_Pepper- Goofy_

_Steve- Prince Charming_

_Tony- Pluto_

 

Speaking of The Adventures of Melinda May and Phil Coulson......

 

Maybe there was a reason Coulson and May were so lenient on their cast. In fact, once upon a time they weren't all that different. Years ago when they'd still been going by their first names, they'd worked at the park. 

 

Melinda was the park's Mulan and was the best there was. Phil played the part of Prince Phillip, the slayer of Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty's hero. Disney World was actually where they met. You'd be surprised to find the park hadn't changed much since then.

 

Disney casting still sucked at their job and Phillinda knew how to have some fun. 

 

Like the one day that would go down in Disney World history and only be topped by a four and a half year old. 

 

The day Peggy Carter finally had enough and retired, passing the reigns to Fury. Of course he didn't have any idea what he was getting into but that was beside the point. See while Coulson and May had Bobbi and Skye, Peggy had Phil and Melinda. Not to mention the handful of teenagers that included her niece. Coulson wasn't the first to cover for his employees when he really should of fired them. 

 

Peggy Carter fortunately had her own Melinda May, Angie Martinelli who knew just how to keep their superiors off their asses. Even she was at a loss for 'Opposite Day'. 

 

It was a hot Friday, one for the record books. The park was booming and crowds flocked for the fun Disney promised. Little did anyone know that the cast had a plan. It had been brought up months before and was finally being executed. After so much preparation, they were ready. No one seemed to notice anything unusual. Peggy did see a few suspicious huddles but nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Not a word was said until the gates opened and people arrived. Parents were horrified while children found it hysterical. Peggy didn't get paid enough to deal with tricksters.

 

No one was in their right costume. Princesses were dressed as princes, characters were dressed as princesses, princes were dressed as princesses, and princes were dressed as characters. Phil had switched with Melinda and was dressed as Mulan. Steve had squeezed into Natasha's Tinkerbell dress while she ran around in Sharon's Donald costume. Pepper was wearing Steve's Prince Charming costume while Tony posed as her princess.

 

The park was a mess and Peggy couldn't begin to think of how to fix it. 

 

"Oh English, we'll fix this." Angie assured her, rubbing Peggy's shoulder. She was standing behind Peggy who was sitting at her desk, staring at the large number of complaints. It wasn't even lunch time yet!

 

"I'm going to kill them. Every last one of them! I'm going to fire whoever came up with this ridiculous idea to begin with." Peggy ranted. Angie just nodded to placate her girlfriend. It was so much easier to just let her get it out.

 

Meanwhile the cast was having a blast. 

 

"I don't understand how you stand this dress, Tasha." Steve whined, pulling down at the hem. The group was on break and gathered in the same area future generations of Disney cast would inhabit. Except they weren't all sitting. Natasha and Steve had opted for chairs, Phil was leaned up against the wall with his arm slung over Melinda's shoulder. Tony was sitting in Pepper's lap on the ground, Maria was cross legged on the actual table and Sharon was stood behind Natasha. All costume heads had been unceremoniously dumped in various parts of the tunnels.

 

"Can we make this switch permanent?" Natasha grinned. Compared to her Tinkerbell costume, Donald was more comfortable. 

 

"Dresses are so freeing and cool. I could get used to this." Phil admitted. Melinda looked up at him with an amused smile.

 

"I can't say this is a turn on for me, babe." Sharon leaned down to wrap her arms around Natasha's neck and kiss her cheek. 

 

"Get a room." Maria mimicked gagging, complete with noises. 

 

"Maria I swear if don't quit that I'm going to tackle you. Making me sick, asshole." Tony yelled, moving to stand up. Pepper eased him back down, chuckling to herself. He looked a little green. Though it was no secret Tony couldn't stand vomit or even someone pretending. The sound alone got him.

 

"Language!" Steve scolded, his face getting pouty. Of course Steve was the only one who believed in the no swearing at Disney rule. It had to do with accidentally swearing in front of kids or something. No one cared, except Steve. 

 

"Baby." Natasha stuck out her tongue, because she was a mature and responsible teenager. 

 

"Very mature, Tash. A+ adult skills there." Pepper snorted, her words dripping with sarcasm.

 

Natasha was about to retort when the sound of clicking heels echoed throughout air. Everyone froze, waiting on a bated breath.

 

"If all of you aren't back into your proper costumes in five minutes then I will fire all of you." Peggy came into view, her voice ringing against the walls before she disappeared down the opposite tunnel.

 

"You don't think she'd actually fire us, right?" Tony scoffed nervously. They all shared a look before scrambling off towards the dressing rooms. That is, everyone except Melinda and Phil who stayed right where they were. 

 

"You think they'll tell her it was our plan?" Melinda mused, kissing his jaw.

 

"Nope, they have far too much respect for us. Besides, it's not like Peggy's actually going to fire us or any of the others. She's far too attached." Phil laughed, squeezing Melinda's shoulder and pressing a kiss to her head.

 

"I hope one day you two have four just like you." Peggy seemed to appear out of nowhere, sauntering into the archway. She put her hands on her hips and fixed them both with a stern look.

 

"Kids?" Phil raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Kids, yes." Peggy smirked. She looked like she knew something they didn't. It was off putting the way she did that. Melinda wanted to learn how she did that. Who knows? Maybe it could come in handy one day. 

 

"If you say so, Carter." Melinda smiled innocently. Peggy shook her head before she was off again, leaving the two behind.

 

"Strange." Phil commented. 

 

"I suppose." Melinda shrugged. "Come on, let's go get changed." 

 

There was a sweet sense of justice when Peggy heard about the chaos that was Bobbi and Skye. She knew it would happen. Payback.

 

* * *

 

 

Now while the boys of Disney didn't get into quite the level of trouble the ladies did, they did know how to do it. Unfortunately a lot of the trouble they got into was worse because it came about as a surprise. Very few of their plans worked out the way they were supposed to. 

 

The plan to get Hunter laid proved to be no exception to this rule. 

 

In fact it was probably the most horribly wrong plan they'd ever done. No one could figure out how it went so wrong. There was suspicion of sabotage but these excuses fell on deaf ears when they were pulled in front of May and Coulson the next day.

 

Really, it had seemed like a great idea at the time. Famous last words. Words that probably led the boys in the chaos they caused. None of them seemed to think things all the way through. This time it was a simple plan! It wasn't overly complicated at all. They just needed to get Hunter locked in a supply closet with the subject of his affection.

 

First, they had to figure out who that was. 

 

While Hunter was quite the ladies man, he also was known to swing the other way as well. He seemed to have more men come through his life than he did women. Not that anyone really cared. Most guys who worked for Disney were at least a little gay. Bisexual was no sweat for anyone there. 

 

More surprise was taken when anyone straight started working for Disney. It was a rare occasion. Fortunately this meant finding Hunter a man wouldn't be too hard. He wasn't picky and most of the men swung for the right team.

 

Like poor Lionel.

 

Poor Lionel who worked as Hercules and actually liked following the rules. He was rumored to be more of a stick in the mud than Jemma. This did not deter Mack in the slightest. Even when Fitz tried to talk him out of it. Trip agreed with him too, which was like pigs flying. Mack was determined though and pulled the other two along for the ride. 

 

Lionel never should have gotten involved but Trip had seen Hunter and him flirting. With their man in mind, it was all about getting them both into a place with a lock. Mack scoped out an average sized room that had a handle they could bar. How hard could it be to get them inside?

 

Definitely harder than they thought because it took two hours and Mack having to wrestle Hunter in just to get Hunter in. Lionel was easier. Mack just threw him over his shoulder and then tossed him inside. Fitz barred the door and they were off. 

 

Hunter's shirt was caught up in something and he tugged at it, trying to get it loose.

 

"Would you like some help?" Lionel offered. 

 

"I'm not a damsel and I am not in distress." Were the words Hunter found himself blurting out. He really needed to stop watching Disney movies so much. Especially considering he was instinctually quoting them.

 

"Did you just quote Hercules?" Lionel laughed, causing Hunter to scowl.

 

"Shut up and help me." Hunter muttered, tugging again at his shirt. Still laughing, Lionel moved to help him. With a few extra hard pulls they managed to get the shirt free complete with a loud snapping sound and the lights shutting off. Sparks shot out from where the shirt had been, igniting a box near by.

 

"Oh no." Lionel's eyes widened comically, not that Hunter could actually see. All either of them could see was the fire starting on the box.

 

"We have to put it out!" Hunter yelled. He started frantically feeling along the walls for the fire extinguisher. Lionel followed his lead. The fire grew larger and ignited even more boxes, heavy smoke quickly filling the room. When neither of them could find what they were searching for, they ran to the door and started banging. How were they supposed to know Fitz had used the fire extinguisher to bar the door? It hadn't occurred to Fitz they might need it and that was beyond unsafe. Not to mention Fitz, Trip and Mack had disappeared and left Hunter to work it out. They'd come back to let them out later, after they were sure the two had hit it off. 

 

"Do you have your cell phone?" Lionel asked, searching his pockets.

 

"No, they took it before throwing me in here." Hunter groaned. His banging increased pace and volume. 

 

"We're going to die!" Lionel gasped, already coughing on smoke. Hunter dropped to the ground and pulled him with him. 

 

"We're not going to die. Put your shirt over your mouth and try not to breathe too deeply." Hunter assured him. They needed to stay calm. If they panicked it would only make the situation much worse. Stay calm, think clearly. That's what would get them out of this.

 

Actually them trying to break the door handle would alert May who was close by and she would find them. May was absolutely furious and had to call the fire department, only able to put out some of the fire with the extinguisher. When they fell out onto the floor, gulping in fresh air while the room belched black smoke, May was already thinking up dozens of ways to end the other boys. 

 

See when the boys had thrown Hunter and Lionel into the store room, they didn't realize it was electrical. Hunter had broken one of the fuses when he pulled his shirt free. 

 

"You almost burned this place down!" May's scream could be heard from so far down the tunnels, people turned on the spot and rushed the opposite direction. It was actually the closest to being fired they'd ever been. It was one thing to cause trouble but they'd almost killed the boys and burned down Disney World.

 

They were lucky they only got suspended from work for two weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

"Honestly Skye, I work here so why would I want to come here on my day off?" Jemma sighed, allowing Skye to pull her towards the gates. They were at Disney World even though as Jemma said, it was their day off. 

 

"Jem it makes sense we should be here. It's our anniversary and this is where we met!" Skye grinned. She was practically vibrating with excitement. There was a surprise awaiting Jemma at the park, not that she knew that. "We've been at home all day and it's almost dark anyway. Disney is so pretty at night."

 

"I suppose you're right." Jemma relented just as they reached the gates. 

 

"Hello ladies." Koenig greeted them with a kind smile. The two brothers worked in the ticket booth and were pretty much interchangeable. Skye couldn't actually keep them straight. Then again, she didn't think anyone could. 

 

"Hello!" Jemma smiled back while Skye showed their ID's. He waved them through and they were officially in the park. The sun was starting to set, painting brilliant hues across the horizon. Disney World was starting to light up and the atmosphere was perfect. It was even better than Skye imagined. She just hoped the others would pull through.

 

"C'mon, I know exactly where we're going to start." Skye grinned, tugging Jemma along towards where she knew Bobbi, Mack and Hunter were set up. Soft, tinkling music spilled out of the speakers as they grew near. Luckily things were set up just as they were supposed to be. The three were lined up with big white posters in their hands. When Jemma was close enough, they flipped them over so the wording was visible.

 

At first Hunter's was upside down but Bobbi quickly corrected it for him.

 

Bobbi's was first and it simply read ' **Happy Anniversary, Jemma!** '.

 

Next was Hunter with his sign that read, ' **Are you ready for an adventure?** '. 

 

The final sign in Mack's hand was just a big, bold arrow pointing onward. 

 

"Skye...?" Jemma turned to raise an eyebrow at Skye. 

 

"What do you think, Jem? Should we follow the arrow?" Skye was beaming brighter than Jemma had ever seen before. Of course that meant Jemma had to play along. No matter what trouble it may cause. Grabbing Skye's hand tightly, she followed the arrow. There were various arrows along the way, stuck to whatever surface there was to provide direction. 

 

Their next destination was Toy Story with Fitz and Trip. They were holding a long banner with similar printing to the previous signs. Beneath the text was another pointing arrow. 

 

' **Our relationship has been an adventure already....** '

 

The next set of arrows led to Pixie Hollow. Billy was holding a sign with Wendy at her side with a large bouquet of roses. Wendy held them out to Jemma with a huge smile. 

 

' **We did get trapped on a ride by a demented four year old....** '

 

Jemma couldn't help but giggle at that one as she took the flowers. It had been an interesting day. Not that Jemma would change that.

 

From there the arrows led to another area of the park. Skye and Jemma must of been walking for twenty minutes to read all the signs. They all seemed to be memories they'd shared over the time they'd been together.

 

' **I convinced you to put super glue in Mack's gloves**.'

 

' **We made out in front of children and almost got fired.** '

 

' **You saved me when my dress got caught and I almost flashed a bunch of kids.** '

 

' **That night of truth or dare we never talk about.** '

 

' **Bobbi kicked Ward's ass for you but I totally supported her.** '

 

' **I did put laxatives in his coffee once because he grabbed your ass.** '

 

' **There was also that one night with Bobbi that we also never speak of......** '

 

' **We gave everyone ship names, including us. Skimmons!** '

 

' **You saved my hula girl from an ugly, vomit soaked demise.** '

 

There must of been over a dozen moments around the park. Jemma felt so honored that she remembered all of them. All of their friends were there too. May and Coulson had taken over their old jobs for the night. It was such a sweet gesture and Jemma could feel herself tearing up.

 

Then they ended up at the Mary Poppins area of Disney. A small white table was set up with candles and beautiful looking food. The current Marry Poppins stood off to the side smiling, sign in hand. 

 

' **I've loved every one of those moments.** '

 

None other than Peggy Carter was standing behind the table with a sign and everything. It was no secret that how much Jemma had loved Mary Poppins growing up. The only time she'd ever been to Disney on a vacation before she started working there, she'd met Peggy who was working as Mary at the time. It had been the best moment of her entire young life.

 

' **I don't want this adventure to end...** ' 

 

The tears spilled over, falling down Jemma's cheeks. Skye had obviously put so much effort into everything and it was so amazing. She was so lucky. She didn't think it could get any better until Peggy pointed upward. Jemma looked up to see a large banner strung up between two light posts. Fairy lights bordered the banner, sparkling in the darkening sky. It was what the banner said though, that's what got Jemma.

 

' **Did you know they legalized same sex marriage yesterday?** ' 

 

"Skye what is this?" Jemma asked, turning to look at her girlfriend. However her girlfriend wasn't quite where she had just been. She was down on one knee, her silly little hula girl in hand. On top of the hula's girl head was ring, light glinting off the diamond. 

 

"I couldn't imagine my life without you, Jemma. This adventure has been such an amazing ride. I wouldn't want anything else. So, Jemma Simmons, will you marry me?" Skye's voice hitched on the last words, but otherwise the words were delivered flawlessly. She was so scared she was going to stutter and flub the whole thing up. 

 

"Oh Skye!" Jemma gasped, more tears making their way down her cheeks. "Of course I will!" 

 

Skye's face lit up so brightly that Jemma could feel her heart stutter. Her girlfriend took the ring off the hula girl and pushed it onto Jemma's ring finger. She stood up and they embraced in a tight hug. When they pulled back, Skye tried to say something, but Jemma cut her off with a passionate kiss. 

 

"Young love." Peggy sighed, snapping a picture of the lovely couple. 

 

_Love wins._

 

* * *

 

**Epilogue?**

Many months later Disney World had a wedding that shouldn't have been allowed. Coulson and May thought otherwise, pulling some strings to make it happen. It was truly a spectacular endeavor complete with the chaos that the cast knew well. What kind of wedding would it be if everything didn't go wrong? All their friends were there to celebrate along with a few other people.

 

Like Wendy.

 

Who managed to be the best little ring bearer/flower girl and didn't create too much chaos.

 

Okay, she might have started a cake war by hitting Skye in the face, but in her defense she was aiming for Hunter! The reception turned into a bit of a mess after that. There was karoake when everyone was drunk too. Even Coulson and May did a tone deaf duet. A right mess.

 

Skye and Jemma wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 


End file.
